Are you a liar?
How are you?
I have been hearing the same response over and over to a point that it is really starting to aggravate me.
FINE…. I am Fine……. Really, I’m Fine
It made me very curious as I know for certain these people who have given me this answer are certainly anything but fine.
I have also been guilty of using this word “fine” as a typical response. I wonder where did we learn this, why is fine an acceptable response?
When I say I am fine, it is a complete lie. I am a liar. I have lied through my teeth to get people to accept the fact that I am fine.
Fine, was a way to get out of answering all the questions about all the things that are not going well. Fine is a COP OUT, plain, and simple.
Why are we so afraid of speaking our truth to people who actually care about how we are doing?
Perhaps it is because we don’t want them to know what is really going on. Maybe we don’t know how to actually feel our feelings or even how to explain them. Perhaps we feel shame, disgust, or fear of rejection.
Learning why you have trouble expressing your feelings can go a long way into changing that behavior. Saying how you feel is something you can absolutely learn how to do.
Here are a few reasons why you might find yourself struggling to express your true feelings:
Fear of Conflict:
Do you fear that speaking your truth about what is really bothering you might cause conflict? Maybe you believe that having good relationships means the absence of intense arguments or verbal disagreements. Could you have learned from past programming that burying your head in the sand is a healthy response to relationship problems?
Do you believe that you should not have feelings such as anger, jealousy, depression, uncertainty, or anxiety? You are afraid of being exposed as weak and vulnerable. You believe it is best if you act as if you have it all together all the time.
Fear of Rejection:
Are you so terrified by rejection and ending up alone that you hide your feelings deep inside? You would rather put up with some abuse, pain and darkness than take the chance of making anyone mad at you. Do you feel an excessive need to meet what you think other’s expectations or opinions of you are? Do you find yourself afraid that people would not like you if you expressed your truth? If you speak your feelings are you scared of being judged by others?
You might show you are upset by your body language, sulking, or slamming doors. You hold your hurt or angry feelings inside instead of disclosing what you feel. You give others the silent treatment, which is a behavior in which you wish to provoke guilt in the person.
Have you thought that you have already tried everything, and nothing works? Do you find yourself thinking this will never get better? Do you think about that one time you expressed your feelings before, and it was not received well? So why try now? No one could ever love you. It is me not them.
You believe that you are not entitled to express your feelings or to ask others for what you want. Your value and your worth based on what other people think of you. Have you asked for what you needed before and it never happened? Do you think you could never do better/have more?
If you feel like you have just looked in the mirror after reading this, you are not alone. I see you; I have been you and I continue to do the work every single day to be emotionally available to myself and others.
Are you tired of living your life in hiding? Are you ready to take your power back? Do you wish you had self-confidence? Do you want to learn to trust yourself again? Are you tired of not feeling safe within your own body?
Then I challenge you to invest in yourself and take a leap of faith. If you have been finding yourself wanting more, dreaming your life was different or wondering who you even are anymore, then this is your time to choose.
I would love to offer you a free session with me.
You will be blown away at what can happen in a session with me. You will leave feeling more hope than you have felt in an awfully long time. You will see your worth, you will learn how to develop courage and squash fear. You will see the road-map being laid out with the steps to making your dreams come true and truly start living your best life. It is all possible, all it takes is an investment in yourself.
You are worthy, you are enough, you have all you need within you. I can help you start telling your truth.
No more lies.
No more lies.